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So the upshot is that it hit me pretty hard I have let myself become the sort of person who has affairs. Not a good idea considering my current circumstances. (We keep it on-hand in case my husband needs it for a condition he struggles with.) Marijuana gives me an odd transparency that my rationalizations and justifications cannot obscure. “I was miserable in my marriage of nine years,” writes a 28-year-old woman who ended up divorcing her husband to be with her affair partner.I got into the “Super Secret Marijuana Stash” after spending most of the day with Alex a few days ago. It's not all about mushiness for ladies - one in five who cheated said they were looking for more satisfying sex than they were getting from their primary partner. Women say they would be more upset if their partner fell in love with someone else than if their partner had sex with that person (65 percent, compared to 47 percent of men), but men say they’d be more distressed by their partner having a sexual affair than falling in love (53 percent, compared to 35 percent of women).
#BUSINESS OF LOVING CHEAT DRIVERS#
“And once you satisfy the itch, it recurs.”Ī gender split between sexual and emotional drivers can also be seen in attitudes toward wandering partners. They might be looking for a sexual outlet without the expectation of continuity,” says Sandra Leiblum, director of the Center for Sexual and Relational Health at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, N.J., who was not involved in the survey. “Men are more likely to look for sexual novelty.
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“Wealthy men may simply have more dating opportunities than men with less income,” says David Frederick, a psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles, who helped analyze the survey findings. Wealth isn't much of a factor in women's cheating. Among men making more than $300,000 a year, 32 percent report cheating, compared to 21 percent of men making less than $35,000 a year. For men with money, infidelity is just another perk. It also appears that money doesn’t buy marital happiness. An unexpected 7 percent of women and 9 percent of men cheated while there was a baby under the age of 2 in the home. According to the survey, 15 percent of women and 16 percent of men with children ages 2 to 5 years had an affair. "It can be the 30-year-old guy who's been cohabiting for six years with his girlfriend, or the 45-year old guy who has seemed happily married for 15 years, or, perhaps most surprising, it's the young mom who seems totally wrapped up with her infant and toddler," says Lever. The new lover is most often a friend or co-worker, and the typical fling lasts less than a week. Cheating tends to happen well into the relationship - especially in the three- to five-year zone - by a man who is dissatisfied with his sex life or a woman who feels emotionally deprived. The survey did find some common scenarios, however. "Even when they know something's amiss - a sex life that's fizzled or intimacy waning - they count on their partner's love to keep them from straying." "It is surprising that the wives and husbands and girlfriends aren't more suspicious," says Lever. And even when confronted with a partner's suspicions, only 6 percent of both men and women confessed to having an affair. Few cheaters - only 2 percent - were busted in the act. Six in 10 cheaters believe they totally got away with their affair and another one in 10 felt their partner was suspicious, but never found out for sure. If your partner is cheating, chances are, you have no idea. Ironically, while we tend to overestimate cheating in society, we are often blind to it in our own lives. And 15 percent of men (though only 7 percent of women) have engaged in online sex or sexual Webcamming, which 66 percent of people consider to be cheating. Nearly 20 percent of survey takers in committed relationships have romantically kissed someone else, a breach that 83 percent of people consider to be cheating. Nearly everybody considers sexual intercourse or oral sex to be cheating, but there are some other behaviors that fall into grayer areas. Still, much of this depends on your definition of cheating. The study found that 22 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have cheated at least once - similar to the results from the /iVillage survey. Smith conducted the highly respected study “American Sexual Behavior,” a poll of 10,000 people over two decades. Smith, director of the General Social Survey for the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago. In fact, the rate of cheating has stayed pretty consistent, according to research expert Tom W.
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